Was I okay? No, most certainly I was not okay; but, if I started telling my story, I'd be medicated and inside a loony bin in minutes. I shrugged and took a look at the wall behind me just to see a Hispanic lady open the door there. The door that led to a small janitorial closet. I blinked twice before looking back at lady doctor."Yes, I'll be okay. I just ... I managed to stumble and make a mess of myself. But I'm fine, really."She looked at me and then she took a quick look at the surroundings like she could not understand how I could end up looking like this. When I looked at her face I could almost see the moment when she decided to ignore that and concentrate to the task in hand, me."Mr. Jeffers, I'm Dr. Holden. Would you please follow me, there is an empty examination room, and we can talk, there. Oh, this is Ms. Novak who works as a nurse, here."I nodded to the blond nurse but I had no time to say anything since the doctor was already on her way towards the empty room. I could. I thought of Jake and his mysterious bulge. I was overwhelmed with the idea of touching it and seeing what lay beneath. When he put his hand suddenly over it I got the sense that it was something that he was ashamed of. I can only see these actions for what they were as a woman in her early thirties and place them in context. I think my mother loved him as well. When my parents divorced Jake became the man of the house and they were very close. I was a baby when this happened a remember very little of father who has become a mere phantom in my life. Sometimes I caught her sneaking glimpses at Jake and I felt a bit jealous. I wanted him all to myself. I seethed inwardly whenever I witnessed them cuddled together on the sofa watching television or she she giving his ass a playful pinch whenever he walked by. I began hanging around older girls and accumulating knoledge from them. They had all had sex and eagerly exchanged stories about their boyfriends will I stood nearby absorbing.
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